Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Expectations

My sweet Landon reminds me so much of myself! I am now hearing and learning things from my parents about my childhood. Things I never really thought about before but I was always on the go!!! Landon really enjoyed his time at Publix CDC and they really encouraged a lot of hands on activities and crafts and the kids were so independent in their classroom. He made several friends that we are trying to stay in touch with although they go to different schools and all. They had a close little group and a lot of them had been together since the baby room. Landon really was into drawing and the director talked to me a lot about encouraging that in him. She seemed to see a lot of potential. His teacher was sorry to see him go when we withdrew him and he just loved it there. I didn't really have to ask about his behavior when I picked him up because he was always smiling and loved his teachers. We didn't get reports of him having problems at all with the other kids.


Fast forward to Kindergarden and he went in with big smiles and well and loved his teacher so much. She was really sweet and soft spoken and really took to Landon. He earned his pennies or kept his pennies everyday for the first couple months I think although I would need to look in his agenda to be exact. After a few days of having trouble on the playground I met with his teacher and coach which I had requested to do. His teacher asked about Landon flapping his hands and said that another teacher had noticed this as well in the lunchroom and asked about it. She also mentioned that he seemed to be in his own little world on the mat but that he always knew the answers whenever she asked him a question. As far as him flapping his hands I think the school system is far too hypersensitive about this but I'm sure it looked different to them. So we went to talk to his Dr. without a lot of concern but just to have it documented in case this ever came up again in the school setting. Landon's pediatrician had me videotape him here at home and keep a log and he wanted to see what the teachers were taking about as well as rule out a possible motor tic. So fast forward to right before Christmas and we went back with video in hand and Dr. Cory said that he did not feel that it was a tic as it is predictable and we were so easily able to get video of him while playing with cars and certain toys that he likes. It basically happens when he is feeling excited and lasts from a few seconds to around 4 or 5 seconds. He said there really is no research that he is aware of but that he does have a patient who also would jump and flap her hands when she came to see him for around 10-15 seconds because she was so excited. She is now 11 and still does it every couple of days. He said not to draw attention to it and to basically allow him to flap his little wings at home but that we might say something to him if we were on the front row in church or something like that such as "we do that when we are at home."


Around November he started having a hard time with keeping his hands to himself on the playground and at different transition times. His teacher said that she had never seen him do anything to be mean but that he just gets excited. They are learning so many things in Kindergaren academically, socially, and behaviorally and most kids are still learning how to regulate their emotions. I am still learning too:) Anyway, I had a hard time with him having hard days or for having a pretty good day but losing a penny. So because my unrealistic expectations were not met I put tremendous pressure on him. How? Just questioning and going over everything with him too many times! I did try to focus on all the positives and there were many but still regret my overreacting to the other. My mom said to me one day "So what if he loses a penny, he can't be perfect all the time." We did have consequences in place at home and that definitely needs to happen. I guess I am just talking here more about the emotional piece and needing to show a little grace and mercy. Lord knows I have needed his grace many times in many many different situations! Why should I not offer the same to my children what is being given to me?

During Thanksgiving break Chad and Amy came down for a visit and I shared some of what we were going through with Amy. After we left and had an awesome time of prayer together with the family she shared some things that the Lord showed her about Landon which was so awesome and very encouraging! Maybe I will post that so that this will all be in the same spot.


I also had to ask myself how my children are going to learn if they never make mistakes or go through difficulties. They will never get the chance to learn to resolve problems if mom is always right there. I know that this past year was not only a learning experience for Landon but it was also an eye opening experience for me. I want to be supportive and understand where he is coming from whether it be learning how to make friends, fit in socially, learn to control his impulses, or just being able to express himself. I also want to back off a bit and realize that he is capable and competent and that it will all work itself out. I just need to be supportive and provide every tool that I can to ensure successes along the way. Landon did so well academically and was reading very well by the end of the year. We were asked to work on handwriting with him at home but he did so well and we were told on lots of occasion just how bright he is! We know that but it was neat to hear it anyway:)

These posts are really long lately. I guess I just really needed to think out some of these things and hopefully learn from my mistakes too:)

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